Monday, January 17, 2011

It's All in a Cupcake

Chapter 1



     Late in August 2010, I moved out on my own for the first time to go to school to become a zoo keeper. I know it isn't the most popular career choice, and most people even questioned the validity of going to college to pursue  the career. Nevertheless, I moved north anticipating all that was to come; working with exotic animals, living new experiences, seeing new things. Left behind though were my family, my loving boyfriend, a well-paying job and all of my friends. That I was lucky enough to have them all support me is an amazing thing that to this day I am still so grateful for.
     Everyone who knew me, knew that being in the zoo was like a drug for me. The thought of being around all the different animals and being in that atmosphere kept me going; waking before the sun rose, giving up my afternoons and weekends. My classes were interesting and getting hands on experience was right up my alley. Things seemed peachy-keene. I missed Nghia (my boyfriend) every single day and not having a job for months and watching all of my hard earned money drain away like sand in an hourglass was a torment constantly on my mind, but it was worth it. I was getting great grades and honestly enjoying myself. I frequently had to read of friends who were out having fun back home, and think about how badly I wished I were still there to be going with them, but that was just part of the package. The zoo was amazing and being around those animals was like a dream. Never in a million years did I think my heart would take me elsewhere.
     I frequently used the phrase "If I wasn't a Zoo Keeper, I want to become a Florist or a Baker." Had these hands ever worked up a batter or decorated a cake? Never, but it was something I could imagine myself doing. Never had I been completely serious though.
     The idea really started to sink in while working on a Halloween project. One of my teachers had been talking about cooking. I mentioned that I am a disaster in the kitchen and destroy almost every meal I made that involved more then "boil and add packet." He looked at me and said "You are probably a great baker." To this I was a little stunned, how could that ever be, seeing as I have in fact messed up boiling water. I assumed it was all hand in hand, even though I always thought the idea of making and designing all sorts of cakes and cupcakes fit my personality. So he explained that usually if you are a great cook, you can't bake. If you are a great baker you can't cook. That stuck with me. One day a zoo club, yes.. zoo club, was holding a bake sale for breast cancer awareness. I flip flopped back and forth whether I should bake something. Switching from a solid full-hearted "Yes!" then to "Oh.. well, maybe I won't. It's not like it matter."
     Finally the very night before the sale, I summed up my courage and decided; "Why not?! I have to try it sometime! I can't just go around saying I would be a baker if it weren't for zoo keeping and not have the goods to back it up."
     I started my journey on the internet searching for the perfect recipe to start my new baking life. When I found it I knew. Strawberry Daiquiri cupcakes. Perfect! I love strawberries, I love strawberry daiquiris (who doesn't?) it was a win win. The recipe was simple enough and I figured even with my limited pantry of baking supplies, I could whip them up well enough. It was an adventure, but I had watched enough cooking shows to have picked up a few tricks to get around not having piping bags, or cooling racks or professional knives etc. When I was done, they smelled amazing.
    The moment of truth came, I plucked off a piece of the unfortunate little fellow who didn't quite make it to show quality and popped it into my mouth. It.. was... delicious! I was so proud of what I just did. Not only how yummy they tasted, but how cute they looked too. That day I realized something. That all of my talk of how girlie I was and how becoming a baker would be just a perfect career choice for me, could actually be a plausible statement. When I clumsily fought with the seran wrap and packed them into a half dilapidated pan made to bake a turkey (it was cheap okay), and shuffled into my car I hoped with all my heart that they would survive and that everyone in the world would love them.
     Okay I'm possibly extremely ambitious, but that was my goal. The whole world would have to condense to about 18 people seeing as that's how many I was able to make with a single batch of batter.
     Pulling up to the school, I got out of the car and grabbed my pan of cupcakes filled with the jitters. It was so odd. When I looked around me though, no one was there. I started to panic.
     "Had there been some kind of mistake? Had I read the e-mail wrong? Had I misunderstood what the girl said when she told me it was to be Monday morning at 8 am?"
     My mind dizzied itself trying to collect all the information that the night before I had been so convinced of. Collecting my composure, I walked into the office and waited for the receptionist to finish a phone call. She eyed me as if she had no idea who I was, even though I had personally walked through that office everyday for the past three months. Leaning from one foot to the next I was frantically checking my brain for anything I might have gotten wrong.
     "Was it supposed to really be NEXT Monday?" I felt the weight of the cupcakes in my arm and imagined them simultaneously deflating and becoming bright pink reminders of my fatal flaw.
     Again my brain reeled, "What will I do with them now? I can't just leave them in my car, the whipped cream will melt all over my seat. Maybe I will just play it off like I was practicing and thought the class would enjoy a treat. Maybe I'd just ditch them in the break room and forget about them. What had I forgotten??"
     "Can I help you?" The voice of the receptionist broke into my nervous thoughts.
     "Uhm... Yes, I was wondering where to bring my cupcakes for the bake sale?"
     Her eyebrows furrowed and her red lips twisted up looking like she had no idea what to say to the girl standing in front of her.
     "Shit..."
     As she watched me keep myself still waiting shifting the big, poorly wrapped aluminum pan under my arm, she told me she had no idea there was a bake sale. I quickly explained it was for Zoociety (the zoo club) and there was supposed to be a bake sale this morning for the breast cancer awareness fundraiser sticking steadfastly to my story even though I was far from confident.
     Again the neatly plucked eyebrows scrunched together in what must have been pity. She then called out for a woman working inside the office asking if she knew anything about a fundraiser and the woman replied slowly that no she hadn't heard of anything and asked if it was supposed to be today.
     Instantly my heart dropped and panic again set in.
     "Stupid stupid stupid girl. Now you are stuck walking around looking like an idiot. Maybe you should read the damn e-mail correctly next time. Ugh.. what do I do with these now."
     As I cursed myself, the receptionist continued talking with the woman behind the wall trying to somehow come up with an answer between the two of them, and to save myself the embarrassment I politely excused myself explaining that I was just going to find someone in the club and ask what they would like to do with them. Rushing out of the office I hurried inside the gate and passed a few zoo students in their uniforms, curiously eying what was in my hands. I walked swiftly towards the break room hastily finding a place in the cramped fridge to shove them quickly checking the state of the cream on top thinking to myself what a waste they were going to be.
     Slowly I left the empty room and went back through the gate to sit at the picnic tables in front of the office and wait for some person to show up to possibly talk to me and save me from the stares I could feel coming from inside the little office behind me. I prayed to myself that the receptionist wasn't watching me sit there alone 3 hours before class started.
     Grumpily I took out my phone, which at the time was one of those fancy ones with internet, and determinedly looked up my e-mail to find out what I must have mistaken.
     As the tiny screen lit up and I pulled up the right e-mail I looked on confused, reading the little words, "Just a reminder to anyone interested, we will be having the bake sale at 8 am Monday morning, so if you would like to contribute it would be greatly appreciated. If you could, incorporate something pink. Thanks. Zoociety."
     I looked around me completely lost. The feeling I had this morning hoping everyone would love what I made as much as I did, had been entirely replaced by the worry that I would be the only idiot who showed. Suddenly, I saw a senior from the club come out of the gate and pass me with a few pieces of pink paper. My heart leapt and I hurriedly jumped out of my seat and ran after her. She turned to me and smiled greeting me pleasantly enough and I quickly blurted out,
    "Is the bake sale supposed to be this morning?"
     She quickly flashed me another smile and replied with a "Yes" and explained that she had run a little late and apologized. I let out a huge sigh and gratefully asked her where she wanted me to put my cupcakes. When she let me know I ran to go get them and stopped short when again the idea of whether anyone would like them hit me like a brick. I had been so relieved to hear that I hadn't been a complete flake that now my brain again began to race.
     "What if people think they are horrible? What if they got destroyed in transit? How did they turn out?"
     Squaring my shoulders, I opened the fridge and pulled out the large pan. Taking a quick glance to make sure they all seemed passable, I trotted out to the picnic tables and set them down in front of the girl.
     Her eyes widened, and she stood up to take a good look at them.
     "My goodness! Those are beautiful! You made those? Oh my gosh!"
     Secretly overjoyed, I calmly smiled and said "Yeah. I just found the recipe and whipped them up."
     Why I felt I had to act cool and collected I had no idea, so instantly I let my shoulders relax and laughing at myself explained how I had never baked before in my entire life and I hoped that they are good.
     Being so delighted with myself, I stayed to help set up the table and began chatting with the other girls who slowly circled the table. Soon passer-bys stopped to take a look at what sweets were sprawled across the bright pink tablecloth. To my amusement, my sloppily wrapped cupcakes were being quickly snatched up left and right until the last one was plucked away by a student rushing off to class. One of my teachers who had his eye on that particular cupcake walked away empty handed and asked me kindly for the recipe.
     All day, my head whirled with new ideas to try, and the focus on the zoo took a backseat as time ticked away and things like cherry cheesecake swirl cupcakes with melted and shaved white chocolate and tart cherry topping danced in my head.
     A monster was born.

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